Self Pity False Responsibility

I was observing tonight that self-pity seems to claim a greater burden of responsibility than is actual.

Crucifed Love of the Caregiver

Those black circles under my eyes?
They're not pretty to you,
but they're actually halos of love.
Not the mushy, starry eyed kind
but the love that says I'll do what it takes
to love her with all I have.

That fragrance you smell when I'm around?
It's not pleasant to you,
but it's actually a very expensive perfume.
It may smell like urine and not having showered enough,
but it's the smell of love that says I'll do anything
to love her even if I get soiled.

That messy house that you no longer visit?
It's not proper to you,
but it's actually a glorious cathedral.
Not the kind that has stained glass windows and vaulted ceilings,
but the cathedral of love that says I'll give my best
to love her most.

Those words that you hear?
They're not patient worded for you,
but they're actually beautiful music.
Not the kind with violins and drums
but the kind that says I'll do what it takes
to protect her heart and life from harm.

This love that I talk about?
It's not always doable, even for me,
but my effort to live it is heaven's joy.
And it's the kind that comes with angels' songs and tambourines
to the glory of one who is love to me.

Self Pity Pitfall

Right now is a season of great trial.  And I realized yesterday that as soon as I started to walk down the road of self-pity, a lack of patience and teary-eyed frustration came right alongside me as well.  As soon as I stopped the counting of my hardships, they went away.  I'm in a battle of life and death right now and I can't afford to go down the roads that sap life.  Lord, protect me from myself.

Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is not something I have, it's something I grow.  Gifts are given, but fruit is grown.