Someone didn't come to church yesterday since she was hurting in her body so I gave her a call just now and prayed for her. About halfway into talking to her a question came to my head. If I weren't doing this 40 day challenge would I have called her? The answer is no. I would not. I would have done well just to remember. And why wouldn't I have called? My heart is calloused to people's illnesses. I don't want to invest the time. I just don't care all that much. Ouch. Yet this is a woman who has helped me in projects more times than I can count. She truly is a servant of servants. Even as I write this I ask myself if this will change after I'm done with the 40 days? Will I still call up sick people and pray? Will I still take time to take seriously their needs? Bottom line, I know I am guilty but will I repent?
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Day 14: Pain in the Back
I was at church this morning chatting with someone and she mentioned her back was really hurting. Another easy day of praying. So we gathered the church, laid hands on her and prayed for her recovery. Once again, I'm getting more used to taking the needs of others more seriously and not just passing them over as casual conversation.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Not for today, that healing and those gifts of the spirit.
I was taught and many believe that the miraculous gifts such as healing have ended. Those were gifts that were present at the birth of the church and may happen today in other places in the world where the church is being birthed, and especially so in the third world. The Scripture used for this is found in 1 Cor 13:
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
This is the ONLY Scripture that is used to say the gifts have passed away. One Scripture. And it's understood as the key Scripture that is to say that these things have passed away.
I was taught this. And I believed this. Until I was healed. Until I experienced the power of the Holy Spirit. Until I studied the Scripture and decided to look at it not what I was taught, but what it said and what the verses in other Scriptures said (this serious study happened before I ever was healed and met the Holy Spirit).
So let's look at these verses: Prophesies cease. Tongues are stilled. Knowledge passes away. Childishness is put aside and maturity is all about love.
There are numerous interpretations of this text and you can easily study them online. But the way I look at this verse is that when a prophecy is given, it will be fulfilled and be done. A word was given many years ago that the International House of Prayer would meet in a massive convention center in Kansas City. They received that word when they were small in number. Twenty-five years later on New Year's Eve that are meeting in the KC convention center with tens of thousands praying in the New Year. A prophetic word was given. It was fulfilled. It ceases. Same with a tongue. And a word of knowledge. They all pass away because they are for a time and a moment. Just as it came to pass that the Jews would return from captivity, that a virgin would be with child, that Jerusalem would be destroyed, etc... They all passed away. We are not still waiting for a virgin to be with child. It is fulfilled and done.
So what about the childishness? Well, there's not shortage of that. When people have prophetic things spoken or they see God heal through them, childishness rears its ugly head. People feel special or elite. They begin to fight over things that are insignificant. The hold on to prophecies in the most ridiculous ways. It's ugly. Paul clearly says that this is not of God. LOVE is of God. We put childish handling of the supernatural aside. We treat it with maturity.
So why else do I think the gifts of the Spirit including healing are operating even today?
Secondly I think our biggest factor, and huge in so many ways is that discouragement often defines our theology. This is so dangerous and yet so very much a part of what we believe at times. If we are sick and are not getting healed, we get discouraged and to protect God's honor, we redefine what we believe. This happens in areas beyond healing too but it's mostly seen with healing. So how do we handle this discouragement? We keep on believing. We keep on trusting. And we keep on praying for others.
I know one pastor friend of mine has a wife who has a horrific illness. He's been deeply discouraged as intercessors around the world have prayed to no avail. One night the Lord asked him, "Will you continue to preach that I heal people even if I never heal your wife?" It was not a question he answered quickly nor took lightly. He wrestled for quite some time before he came the place of "Yes, Lord."
Another person I have heard about is a person in California. He is 90% deaf and has never been healed. But when he prays for deaf people they are often healed. He has not let offense and his own lack of healing stop him from believing the Scriptures and reaching out to others.
Sometimes it is just about perseverance. I have read that John Wimber prayed for around 800 people before he began to see healings take place. There's a man not too far from here who said he prayed for around 700-800 before he began to see healings. He even had several of those people he prayed for during that time die. Yikes! I heard a pastor from Canada who sees a lot of healings and he said it took 300 before he began to see changes. So that's encouraging as well as raising the bar of perseverance. Maybe the rest of us won't have to wait that long. I don't fully understand it but maybe we learn something in the process of praying for the hundreds.
I also think that we need to have integrity with healing. When Jesus healed someone, he told them to go the priests and get it checked out. These were the modern day doctors. And I believe that if this was the practice of Jesus, it should also be our practice. If someone claims healing, tell them to go to the doctor to confirm it. This is a witness to the doctor but it also validates what took place.
Ok, so that was a lot of thoughts. This is an unplanned post. But as I write these things knowing that many of my friends were brought up as I was so I thought it good to explain some things.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.
This is the ONLY Scripture that is used to say the gifts have passed away. One Scripture. And it's understood as the key Scripture that is to say that these things have passed away.
I was taught this. And I believed this. Until I was healed. Until I experienced the power of the Holy Spirit. Until I studied the Scripture and decided to look at it not what I was taught, but what it said and what the verses in other Scriptures said (this serious study happened before I ever was healed and met the Holy Spirit).
So let's look at these verses: Prophesies cease. Tongues are stilled. Knowledge passes away. Childishness is put aside and maturity is all about love.
There are numerous interpretations of this text and you can easily study them online. But the way I look at this verse is that when a prophecy is given, it will be fulfilled and be done. A word was given many years ago that the International House of Prayer would meet in a massive convention center in Kansas City. They received that word when they were small in number. Twenty-five years later on New Year's Eve that are meeting in the KC convention center with tens of thousands praying in the New Year. A prophetic word was given. It was fulfilled. It ceases. Same with a tongue. And a word of knowledge. They all pass away because they are for a time and a moment. Just as it came to pass that the Jews would return from captivity, that a virgin would be with child, that Jerusalem would be destroyed, etc... They all passed away. We are not still waiting for a virgin to be with child. It is fulfilled and done.
So what about the childishness? Well, there's not shortage of that. When people have prophetic things spoken or they see God heal through them, childishness rears its ugly head. People feel special or elite. They begin to fight over things that are insignificant. The hold on to prophecies in the most ridiculous ways. It's ugly. Paul clearly says that this is not of God. LOVE is of God. We put childish handling of the supernatural aside. We treat it with maturity.
So why else do I think the gifts of the Spirit including healing are operating even today?
- The context before and after this text is about "eagerly desiring spiritual gifts" which would make no sense if we believed the above verses were about the gifts passing away. Seriously, if that was what he meant, chapters 12 and 14 would be useless.
- Paul says to not "forbid the speaking in tongues." This validates that the gifts of the spirit had gotten so out of hand (as we clearly read) that some wanted to do away with it all. Paul says not to do away with it all, but administer order.
- Jesus healed folks through God's power and he is our model in all things
- The disciples when empowered by the Holy Spirit brought healing to people
- The apostles even prayed for healings to happen to validate the message of the gospel (Acts 4:30)
- This is the ONLY verse that people use to say the gifts and healings are gone and it doesn't make sense contextually.
- I experienced a healing in my own body that still stands today, and it did indeed rock my world. I know myself and if 10 billion people told me otherwise, I know experimentally and measurably that I was healed instantly from something I had my entire life.
- People around the world (including in the US) are experiencing a move of God in the miraculous
- It is VERY condescending and paternalistic to say it happens on the mission field for those poor people and not in our own country. God have mercy on us for thinking that.
Secondly I think our biggest factor, and huge in so many ways is that discouragement often defines our theology. This is so dangerous and yet so very much a part of what we believe at times. If we are sick and are not getting healed, we get discouraged and to protect God's honor, we redefine what we believe. This happens in areas beyond healing too but it's mostly seen with healing. So how do we handle this discouragement? We keep on believing. We keep on trusting. And we keep on praying for others.
I know one pastor friend of mine has a wife who has a horrific illness. He's been deeply discouraged as intercessors around the world have prayed to no avail. One night the Lord asked him, "Will you continue to preach that I heal people even if I never heal your wife?" It was not a question he answered quickly nor took lightly. He wrestled for quite some time before he came the place of "Yes, Lord."
Another person I have heard about is a person in California. He is 90% deaf and has never been healed. But when he prays for deaf people they are often healed. He has not let offense and his own lack of healing stop him from believing the Scriptures and reaching out to others.
Sometimes it is just about perseverance. I have read that John Wimber prayed for around 800 people before he began to see healings take place. There's a man not too far from here who said he prayed for around 700-800 before he began to see healings. He even had several of those people he prayed for during that time die. Yikes! I heard a pastor from Canada who sees a lot of healings and he said it took 300 before he began to see changes. So that's encouraging as well as raising the bar of perseverance. Maybe the rest of us won't have to wait that long. I don't fully understand it but maybe we learn something in the process of praying for the hundreds.
I also think that we need to have integrity with healing. When Jesus healed someone, he told them to go the priests and get it checked out. These were the modern day doctors. And I believe that if this was the practice of Jesus, it should also be our practice. If someone claims healing, tell them to go to the doctor to confirm it. This is a witness to the doctor but it also validates what took place.
Ok, so that was a lot of thoughts. This is an unplanned post. But as I write these things knowing that many of my friends were brought up as I was so I thought it good to explain some things.
The line in the sand--John 10
Jesus was creating a big mess. He was healing people, casting out demons and letting people know that he was the way to the Father. His enemies and his opposition were divided. Almost all of them wanted to hate him but some of his enemies took pause. Why? Because they couldn't refute the blind seeing.
19 The Jews who heard these words were again divided. 20 Many of them said, “He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?”
21 But others said, “These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”
The couldn't refute what they saw and it messed with them. It divided them. Because the healings validated his message. And I think that is one of the main purposes of healing, not only to allow God to love on people but also to validate the message. It sure challenged the thinking of the Jews.
19 The Jews who heard these words were again divided. 20 Many of them said, “He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?”
21 But others said, “These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”
The couldn't refute what they saw and it messed with them. It divided them. Because the healings validated his message. And I think that is one of the main purposes of healing, not only to allow God to love on people but also to validate the message. It sure challenged the thinking of the Jews.
Day 13: Two for One
Today I was out and about not really thinking of who I was going to pray for. I was attending a His Word Proclaimed meeting with all the other churches in town. Within 5 minutes of the meeting 2 people told me of their illnesses. I didn't think anything of it. My mind wasn't attuned. Then a little bit later I realized those were my people! So after the meeting we all gathered around them and prayed for them. It's interesting how easily when people voice needs or concerns we just kind of let it go in one ear, make a few nice comments to them, then let it go out the other ear. Yet it's so important to the person voicing the concern. Their health and their life really matter. One of the benefits of seeking out people to pray for is that I am more attuned to their needs (although not yet at all times as today proved). But in general I'm not so casual about people's pain. Perhaps God IS wanting to heal people more often but he wants to do it through His body. Us. But it takes us being as zeroed in on the needs of others as much as our own thoughts and concerns. It's the loving of our neighbor as we also love ourselves.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Day 12: Hearing Ears
This morning, with yesterday a long ago forgotten memory, I just felt the Lord was going to have me pray for someone not on my phone list. I didn't know who but I knew of someone in my sights that I'd been thinking on. Sure enough when I talked her she was needing praying for some personal things going on as well as physical. It was encouraging to know that I was indeed hearing the Lord today. Now let's wait and see if she gets healed. This is starting to get fun again. :)
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Day 11: To Grow
Today I had a name in my mind of who to call when I got off work. Another person to pray for. I was able to reconnect with a friend which was nice but when I asked about her health she said she was doing great. I did pray for here as she was getting ready to go on a road trip. But as far as praying for someone who needed healing I got a miss on that one in trying to hear from the Lord. But as always to try is to learn, to learn is to grow, and to grow is to eventually produce fruitfulness.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Day 10: Peaceful Leading
Last night when I went to bed I realized in just a short week's time the intensity of trying to find someone to pray for had overshadowed my focus of praying--to allow God to love on people through me. Lost perspective is not a good thing, especially when you find yourself just checking off your sheet that you did something. But today I was a lot more peaceful about things with the renewed perspective from Day 8 in that it is good to pray for those not only outside of your circle but also those on the inside.
Evening came and I was out walking (picking up cans for Bibles and getting some good exercise) and I still hadn't prayed for anyone. But you know, I was Ok with that. And when I began thinking about who to pray for a name came to mind immediately. It is someone I know who has suffered from heart issues and sleepless nights for as long as I can remember. So I called him on the phone and was able to pray for him. I felt like my desire to allow the Lord to love others through me is starting to come back. I really wanted him to have a peaceful night of rest and I really do hope the Lord touches him. This feels so much better. The way of love is the avenue of peace.
Evening came and I was out walking (picking up cans for Bibles and getting some good exercise) and I still hadn't prayed for anyone. But you know, I was Ok with that. And when I began thinking about who to pray for a name came to mind immediately. It is someone I know who has suffered from heart issues and sleepless nights for as long as I can remember. So I called him on the phone and was able to pray for him. I felt like my desire to allow the Lord to love others through me is starting to come back. I really wanted him to have a peaceful night of rest and I really do hope the Lord touches him. This feels so much better. The way of love is the avenue of peace.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Day 9: Right Beside Me
So hello. In the last week(s) a guy I know has been having knee pain. I was just blinded to it earlier. I did have the opportunity to pray for him so that was good. It's taken the burden off trying to hit the streets to find someone and just be open to those around me, who I know and those I don't. Good lesson.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Day 8: Revisited
So tonight was the first night I began to think to myself that this was losing something. I was struggling with finding people and it was becoming an uncomfortable work. Then it came to me, why do I feel like I only need to pray for strangers? What about friends and co-workers and such? Are they less worthy because they know the Lord or that I know them? Not at all! What am I thinking?! Granted, my co-workers are few but I also have friends I can call. And neighbors I can visit. Certainly some of them have something I could pray for. Most people have something amiss in their body. I don't need for them to show some sign of lameness. I can just ask.
My goal has been to practice obedience and to see God love on people through healing. I don't want to rule out the stranger on the street and do want to be led of the Lord, but my focus has been too narrow. Does not the Lord want to love on everyone? It takes more of the pressure off and maybe I can get the fun back, because it would still be great fun if God healed somebody, Christian or not. And I still believe He likes to love on people this way. I feel like a burden has been removed. What a learning process! So good though. So very good. I'm learning a lot.
My goal has been to practice obedience and to see God love on people through healing. I don't want to rule out the stranger on the street and do want to be led of the Lord, but my focus has been too narrow. Does not the Lord want to love on everyone? It takes more of the pressure off and maybe I can get the fun back, because it would still be great fun if God healed somebody, Christian or not. And I still believe He likes to love on people this way. I feel like a burden has been removed. What a learning process! So good though. So very good. I'm learning a lot.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Day 7: Sabbath
I had the privilege of being around a lot of people today who have maladies and who would welcome prayer. At church. But I was planning on praying for the woman who is in a wheelchair tonight as we were going to watch a movie together. Afte the movie though, I completely forgot. My mind wasn't very focused today. Because of the crazy two weeks, I'm in full Sabbath mode.
Starting tomorrow I'm not sure how things will unfold. I really would prefer not to look for someone shopping as my budget can't handle more of that, so I will just have to pray for someone more in the natural course of the day. Could change things. Then again, maybe not.
Starting tomorrow I'm not sure how things will unfold. I really would prefer not to look for someone shopping as my budget can't handle more of that, so I will just have to pray for someone more in the natural course of the day. Could change things. Then again, maybe not.
Day 5 Revisited
I was thinking about Day 5 during church today as I had an interesting experience on Day 5. They either were healed or through encouragement from me overcame fear because one person was completely brought back to normal function. I certainly assumed it was the latter, but perhaps could this person have been healed? Just through the laying on of hands?
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Day 6: In front of my face
I was trying to think of what I was going to write because first of all I didn't find anyone to pray for. Not that I wasn't around people. I went shopping once again. I decided that this would have to be the last time though because I keep finding stuff to buy and I need to stop! I can't afford "shopping." I think I'm just going to have to find people in the normal course of my day.
Secondly, how do I explain that this process doesn't even remotely feel like a "fail" if I can't find someone on any given day? I'm keeping my eyes open to people's needs and my ears open to the Lord much more attentively. I've also prayed for more sick people in these last 6 days than I have in, oh, a VERY long time. (I typically pray for sick folks when they ask but that's about it, no intentionality on my part). So all things considered, these last few days have been a success. The bottom line is that this is an exercise in obedience and exercise takes repetition and intentionality. So in 6 days I think already my spiritual muscle tone is just a little bit nicer and less flabby. I'll take it. (Now if some of that flab would just come off my waist I would take that too!).
So that's what I wanted to say when I found myself at the grocery store this evening and I still didn't find anyone to pray for. Granted I saw some folks in scooters but that was a little weird to think of how to approach them. I didn't want to freak people out. Then I came home from shopping and someone was at the house. So we talked for a bit. While talking I thought that they appeared perfectly healthy. But why not give it a try? So I just told her bluntly, "This is going to sound strange but do you have anything going wrong in your body? Because I'm trying to pray for people once a day to be healed and I haven't found anyone today."
"Actually, yes," she replied. She has been going quietly to doctors the last several months and has not had any help.
"Yeah! A sick person!"
Maybe I shouldn't have verbalized that but I did. Not that I want to see anyone sick but for the sake of this journey it's nice to find someone. So yet again I had a great opportunity to pray for someone. And all the time she was right there. I didn't find anyone, but he brought someone to me. Thanks again God.
Lesson in process: Ask. You just never know. Your answer and theirs might be right in front of both your faces.
Secondly, how do I explain that this process doesn't even remotely feel like a "fail" if I can't find someone on any given day? I'm keeping my eyes open to people's needs and my ears open to the Lord much more attentively. I've also prayed for more sick people in these last 6 days than I have in, oh, a VERY long time. (I typically pray for sick folks when they ask but that's about it, no intentionality on my part). So all things considered, these last few days have been a success. The bottom line is that this is an exercise in obedience and exercise takes repetition and intentionality. So in 6 days I think already my spiritual muscle tone is just a little bit nicer and less flabby. I'll take it. (Now if some of that flab would just come off my waist I would take that too!).
So that's what I wanted to say when I found myself at the grocery store this evening and I still didn't find anyone to pray for. Granted I saw some folks in scooters but that was a little weird to think of how to approach them. I didn't want to freak people out. Then I came home from shopping and someone was at the house. So we talked for a bit. While talking I thought that they appeared perfectly healthy. But why not give it a try? So I just told her bluntly, "This is going to sound strange but do you have anything going wrong in your body? Because I'm trying to pray for people once a day to be healed and I haven't found anyone today."
"Actually, yes," she replied. She has been going quietly to doctors the last several months and has not had any help.
"Yeah! A sick person!"
Maybe I shouldn't have verbalized that but I did. Not that I want to see anyone sick but for the sake of this journey it's nice to find someone. So yet again I had a great opportunity to pray for someone. And all the time she was right there. I didn't find anyone, but he brought someone to me. Thanks again God.
Lesson in process: Ask. You just never know. Your answer and theirs might be right in front of both your faces.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Day 5: Treasure Seeker
I wasn't nearly so exhausted today and had a little energy so after work I went searching, more specifically "treasure hunting." It's a form of evangelism where you ask the Lord for clues to a person and then you go find them. I've done this before with a friend and it was SO fun to pray and then go find the answer. So I decided to try that tonight. It was kind of an experiment too as I believe that this form of evangelism and prayer seems to work better when in twos or more.
One of the clues I thought I had received was "Target." So I went to the Target store and shopped around as I looked for someone to match my descriptive clues. I looked and looked with no fruit. Then I went to the mall and looked. Nothing there. Back to Target again, nothing. (I did spend $35 which was NOT in the plan, however). Bottom line is that tonight I tried to find someone to pray for but came up empty.
One thing I'm learning though is to press into the Lord for leading. It's attuning my spiritual ears to His voice more clearly and if I get it wrong like I did tonight, that is a learning experience that helps distinguish His voice from my thoughts. Tonight, they were seemingly my thoughts.
Secondly I have to concur with my original belief that it appears the Lord tends to bless going out in pairs. And I just don't have another person right now who is free to with me.
I'm not disappointed. But I'm wondering how this experiment will pan out. Mainly because even as I walked the mall tonight I couldn't find obvious sick people. This is actually harder than anticipated but I'm on a journey and I still believe it is a good one.
One of the clues I thought I had received was "Target." So I went to the Target store and shopped around as I looked for someone to match my descriptive clues. I looked and looked with no fruit. Then I went to the mall and looked. Nothing there. Back to Target again, nothing. (I did spend $35 which was NOT in the plan, however). Bottom line is that tonight I tried to find someone to pray for but came up empty.
One thing I'm learning though is to press into the Lord for leading. It's attuning my spiritual ears to His voice more clearly and if I get it wrong like I did tonight, that is a learning experience that helps distinguish His voice from my thoughts. Tonight, they were seemingly my thoughts.
Secondly I have to concur with my original belief that it appears the Lord tends to bless going out in pairs. And I just don't have another person right now who is free to with me.
I'm not disappointed. But I'm wondering how this experiment will pan out. Mainly because even as I walked the mall tonight I couldn't find obvious sick people. This is actually harder than anticipated but I'm on a journey and I still believe it is a good one.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Day 4: Is God not good? Ridiculously good?
I just ended a conversation with a friend who always has stories of how the Lord has miraculously provided. Such extraordinary provision that the Lord's loving her reminds me of how much He's also loving me. This good Brit has taught me so much by her being loved by Him. Just amazing.
All day today I was so tired I couldn't move. I have been working 11 days straight now with 1 to go and I've had no energy. Honestly I really didn't care whether I prayed for someone or not. I met a lady earlier today with shoulder issues but felt the Lord say it wasn't her. Then I went shopping for some animal food and saw a man with an oxygen tank coming in the door as I was going out, but I wasn't feeling it for him either. I went and visited my friend in a wheelchair who got her service dog today and thought I'd pray for her, but that didn't happen. She had a guest and even though I know the guy I just wasn't feeling right about it. I came home still in a catatonic state of exhaustion deciding that I wasn't going to leave the house any more tonight. That's when I remembered my friend who had just come out of the hospital. I tried to call but no answer. Then I saw on Facebook that she was feeling very much better. I had just read in Luke that Jesus "healed those who needed healing." She didn't seem to need it. After that I scanned Facebook to see if any of my friends reported feeling bad. Everyone was happy and healthy. I'm glad for that but it lead me to the conclusion that today was just going to have to be a "grace" day on this 40 day journey.
But then she called. My friend who had just come out of the hospital that I mentioned above. She had been on the phone with someone else when I called so after she was done she returned my call. In the midst of her encouraging me with her always and ever amazing stories of God's provision, she happened to mention that although she had been feeling better, tonight she was experiencing an episode of shortness of breath that was a concern to her, especially as she was wanting a good night's sleep. After a wonderful talk of sharing stories of God's greatness I had the honor and privilege of praying for her. I told her that since I couldn't lay hands on her and pray for her that she would have to do that herself. :) I will ask later how she is feeling.
After a day of feeling unable to do much of anything but stare off into space, I now feel a little more renewed at experiencing God's amazing provision. Yet again God has come through when I felt there was surely no one out there that could be found who needed prayer, especially late at night. This has been interesting. Could it be that God is taking me to the end of my resources each time so He can show me His resources?
All day today I was so tired I couldn't move. I have been working 11 days straight now with 1 to go and I've had no energy. Honestly I really didn't care whether I prayed for someone or not. I met a lady earlier today with shoulder issues but felt the Lord say it wasn't her. Then I went shopping for some animal food and saw a man with an oxygen tank coming in the door as I was going out, but I wasn't feeling it for him either. I went and visited my friend in a wheelchair who got her service dog today and thought I'd pray for her, but that didn't happen. She had a guest and even though I know the guy I just wasn't feeling right about it. I came home still in a catatonic state of exhaustion deciding that I wasn't going to leave the house any more tonight. That's when I remembered my friend who had just come out of the hospital. I tried to call but no answer. Then I saw on Facebook that she was feeling very much better. I had just read in Luke that Jesus "healed those who needed healing." She didn't seem to need it. After that I scanned Facebook to see if any of my friends reported feeling bad. Everyone was happy and healthy. I'm glad for that but it lead me to the conclusion that today was just going to have to be a "grace" day on this 40 day journey.
But then she called. My friend who had just come out of the hospital that I mentioned above. She had been on the phone with someone else when I called so after she was done she returned my call. In the midst of her encouraging me with her always and ever amazing stories of God's provision, she happened to mention that although she had been feeling better, tonight she was experiencing an episode of shortness of breath that was a concern to her, especially as she was wanting a good night's sleep. After a wonderful talk of sharing stories of God's greatness I had the honor and privilege of praying for her. I told her that since I couldn't lay hands on her and pray for her that she would have to do that herself. :) I will ask later how she is feeling.
After a day of feeling unable to do much of anything but stare off into space, I now feel a little more renewed at experiencing God's amazing provision. Yet again God has come through when I felt there was surely no one out there that could be found who needed prayer, especially late at night. This has been interesting. Could it be that God is taking me to the end of my resources each time so He can show me His resources?
Reflections on 40 Days of No Books
I know the 40 days of no books was last month, but I'm still very affected by that choice. I realize that books, even Christian books are what one of my friend calls "Christian junkfood." If we eat too much we become chubby and unhealthy in the spirit. Without even realizing it this is exactly what I was experiencing without even being aware. As I work towards creating a "buff" spirit, junk food is for treats, not for regular eating habits. After this 40 day absence from other books my desire has still been centered around his Word. I'm hoping it stays and that I don't go back to a steady diet of spiritual Snicker bars.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Beer Cans and Bibles
I remember when I was first starting out on mission trips for my trips (back when NOBODY did things like that), I and people in my church collected beer cans along the road to help fund my way. And now I find myself doing that yet again.
A yearning of mine is to help combat famine. Not the famine of food although that is worthy of our time, money and resources, but a famine of the Word of God in the hands of those who aren't allowed to have it. For whatever reason it has been a longing of mine for years to see Bibles given to those folks in closed countries. So the best I can do is help raise funds. $5/Bible is quite cheap.
So the kids in my church are fabulous. They give their quarters, nickles and dimes (all 6 of them), help collect cans and do other projects, and in the past 2 years they've raised $2000. That is approximately 400 Bibles. How cool is that? So this year we put up a contraption to help our endeavors. Here it is:
It is in the driveway of our our local grocery store so people can come in and shoot cans in the basket. Fun, don't you think?
So now when I drive along the road I stop and pick up cans. Now this might seem like a lost cause. It takes 350 cans to equal 10 pounds which is $5 and the cost of a Bible. Wouldn't it be better to give $5? Actually it is, and I do. But I've learned something from the kids. Most adults would say that's an act of futility to pick up cans, here's 20 bucks and let me save you some time. But the reality is that this probably would be the only time an adult would give--a one-time gift and forget about it. Then you have the kids. They keep coming with their piggy bank money (literally, and it's quite touching) and their weekly quarters. So if every single adult in my church gave $20, we still wouldn't have raised close to the $2000 that the 6 children in our church have raised. Those nickles and dimes matter. Even more than us adults giving one time gifts.
So here I am again, a couple of decades later, picking up beer cans. Maybe one day I'll laugh as I find some other form of raising funds for Bibles that multiplies quicker. I would LOVE that especially as the days are short, but I just haven't come up with anything. For now I'll give my nickles and dimes with the children. Besides, they somehow in their child-like wisdom have discovered that the marathon gets you farther than the sprint. A good lesson to remember.
A yearning of mine is to help combat famine. Not the famine of food although that is worthy of our time, money and resources, but a famine of the Word of God in the hands of those who aren't allowed to have it. For whatever reason it has been a longing of mine for years to see Bibles given to those folks in closed countries. So the best I can do is help raise funds. $5/Bible is quite cheap.
So the kids in my church are fabulous. They give their quarters, nickles and dimes (all 6 of them), help collect cans and do other projects, and in the past 2 years they've raised $2000. That is approximately 400 Bibles. How cool is that? So this year we put up a contraption to help our endeavors. Here it is:
It is in the driveway of our our local grocery store so people can come in and shoot cans in the basket. Fun, don't you think?
So now when I drive along the road I stop and pick up cans. Now this might seem like a lost cause. It takes 350 cans to equal 10 pounds which is $5 and the cost of a Bible. Wouldn't it be better to give $5? Actually it is, and I do. But I've learned something from the kids. Most adults would say that's an act of futility to pick up cans, here's 20 bucks and let me save you some time. But the reality is that this probably would be the only time an adult would give--a one-time gift and forget about it. Then you have the kids. They keep coming with their piggy bank money (literally, and it's quite touching) and their weekly quarters. So if every single adult in my church gave $20, we still wouldn't have raised close to the $2000 that the 6 children in our church have raised. Those nickles and dimes matter. Even more than us adults giving one time gifts.
So here I am again, a couple of decades later, picking up beer cans. Maybe one day I'll laugh as I find some other form of raising funds for Bibles that multiplies quicker. I would LOVE that especially as the days are short, but I just haven't come up with anything. For now I'll give my nickles and dimes with the children. Besides, they somehow in their child-like wisdom have discovered that the marathon gets you farther than the sprint. A good lesson to remember.
40 Days: Fruits and Vegetables
Some little discoveries I had tonight. I went on a 40 day fruit and vegetable fast (during the book fast) and since then I've really not wanted to go back to all the other junk. My endurance is better, I feel better and eating well is just...better. And for the most part I'm not eating all that bad stuff again (although at this very moment I am taking a slight deviation). But more importantly when I was at the store, for a moment my mind wanted some kind of junk to eat, mainly for comfort. I've worked 10 days straight, have 2 to go, and I'm wanting comfort in this tiredness. But I realized I didn't so much want food anymore as comfort, I just want a hot shower. Imagine that, more righteous forms of comfort have become my craving. Very cool. Additionally I haven't wanted to read much other than the Bible. I've longed to keep that desire. I hope that these things remain as I really am liking the fruit.
Day 3: Still God
Last night I was a bit excited with how things worked out with the neighbor because whether the man was healed or not, the hand of God was in it. It stirred my sense of adventure in the search and discovery of praying for people. This morning I woke up and for some reason felt kind of stressed at the thought of trying to "find" someone. This experiment will probably have sacrifice but today I didn't have as much emotional steam to go out searching.
I asked repeatedly to send someone. I ended up meeting a man who had more conditions than I can list here but one of those conditions was a shoulder problem. He was really in pain. My challenge was that I didn't know how to break into the conversation with an offer to pray. I previously tried to encourage him to not give up on his shoulder and to keep praying. I said that to him because I was shopping for an entrance but he didn't give me one. Several minutes later as we were getting to the point of parting ways and I'm praying to God for an entrance, he casually mentions he and his wife pray every night. I take that as my green light and ask him quickly if I can pray before he goes on his way. I keep it short, pray quick for healing and then he leaves. It wasn't an appropriate time to chat much. Again I really believe the Lord opened that door. His mentioning that he prayed every night gave me the entrance I was needing.
So far this hasn't necessarily looked like what I thought. I imagined praying for people and having conversation with them, but so far it has been a quick prayer and then depart, mainly because of social circumstances. That's Ok but somehow it seems like God is more likely to heal if I stick with them longer. I think that is probably the spirit of religion trying to rear its ugly head. Will God only heal if I have intensive prayer with time with someone? How long is enough time? Surely He is bigger than that box.
But it also hasn't looked like what I expected in another way. For three days now God has brought me someone or showed me whom to pray for. That's really cool. I really hope it continues.
I still long for someone to go with me on prayer escapades as I do believe God is pleased when we work as a body but I haven't found someone yet. I'm considering drafting a teen at church on one of the days but she lives quite far away. If you're reading this (not 5 years after the fact), perhaps your prayers for the next 37 days can be that partnership? Will you join me in prayer?
Learning Lesson for Day #3: Trust the Lord to open doors. Rest in him to help you obey. (I probably will need that one regularly).
Another learning lesson for Day #3: I labeled these posts as "praying for the sick." We're so programmed in this terminology that even after writing the post called "Jesus did NOT say to pray for the sick," I slipped right back into it. Are we entrenched in our ways or what. Jesus says heal the sick. Gotta change my label starting today.
I asked repeatedly to send someone. I ended up meeting a man who had more conditions than I can list here but one of those conditions was a shoulder problem. He was really in pain. My challenge was that I didn't know how to break into the conversation with an offer to pray. I previously tried to encourage him to not give up on his shoulder and to keep praying. I said that to him because I was shopping for an entrance but he didn't give me one. Several minutes later as we were getting to the point of parting ways and I'm praying to God for an entrance, he casually mentions he and his wife pray every night. I take that as my green light and ask him quickly if I can pray before he goes on his way. I keep it short, pray quick for healing and then he leaves. It wasn't an appropriate time to chat much. Again I really believe the Lord opened that door. His mentioning that he prayed every night gave me the entrance I was needing.
So far this hasn't necessarily looked like what I thought. I imagined praying for people and having conversation with them, but so far it has been a quick prayer and then depart, mainly because of social circumstances. That's Ok but somehow it seems like God is more likely to heal if I stick with them longer. I think that is probably the spirit of religion trying to rear its ugly head. Will God only heal if I have intensive prayer with time with someone? How long is enough time? Surely He is bigger than that box.
But it also hasn't looked like what I expected in another way. For three days now God has brought me someone or showed me whom to pray for. That's really cool. I really hope it continues.
I still long for someone to go with me on prayer escapades as I do believe God is pleased when we work as a body but I haven't found someone yet. I'm considering drafting a teen at church on one of the days but she lives quite far away. If you're reading this (not 5 years after the fact), perhaps your prayers for the next 37 days can be that partnership? Will you join me in prayer?
Learning Lesson for Day #3: Trust the Lord to open doors. Rest in him to help you obey. (I probably will need that one regularly).
Another learning lesson for Day #3: I labeled these posts as "praying for the sick." We're so programmed in this terminology that even after writing the post called "Jesus did NOT say to pray for the sick," I slipped right back into it. Are we entrenched in our ways or what. Jesus says heal the sick. Gotta change my label starting today.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Day 2: Could have been labeled "failed."
I was wondering what I was going to write about today since it seemed like an epic fail, well...maybe not the "epic" part. I met someone today who has shoulder issues that are bad. I know this person so it was familiar. And for a brief second I entertained the idea of praying for her but the thought quickly vanished. Later I realized I think that this was the still, small, very small voice of the Lord I had ignored. And why did I ignore it? I don't know. Maybe it's because for me her issues were so familiar. So unchanging. So in a situation that surely is going to remain. It's easy to forgot the whole point--that the reason I'm praying for sick people is to see them healed. Do I really believe God can do so? Doesn't matter, God commanded that I "heal the sick." Believe or not, I must obey.
So after I realized it was the Lord, I apologized to Him and asked for another opportunity, but where? After work I hit the grocery store as I did need to buy some things. On the way to the store I thought of maybe asking the cashier if she needed prayer, but then again, maybe I could phone a friend who I know is fresh out of the hospital. That was it! I couldn't "lay hands on the sick" but I could sure ask Jesus to do so and pray for my friend over the phone. Maybe it was a cop-out though. But is it? I felt a kind of "peace" from the Lord so I wasn't sure.
Anyway, I got to Dillons and scanned the store. NOBODY. Seriously folks, where are all you limping people hiding?! I know you're out there! I scanned arms, legs, hands, etc... I couldn't find a single one. And as I got to the cash-register and toyed with the idea of asking her if she needed prayer, it just didn't seem right. It was busy and while no one was behind me, I just wasn't feel the situation lent itself to a "spiritual" moment.
When I got home I tried twice to call my friend who was fresh from the hospital. No answer. That's when I decided today's post would have "fail" somewhere in the title. Somehow I had just lost my opportunity with the woman this morning. And I was just too tired to go "shopping" at the mall on the other side of town. But then I decided to go to Wal-Mart. I was trying a new recipe and had forgotten to get some taco seasoning. At first I thought it was a cop-out again for not reaching my friend on the phone but regardless, I needed taco seasoning.
I walked into Wal-Mart past the fruit section and BINGO, limping man with cane on the main aisle shopping for Triscuits. But how do I approach him. "Hey dude, nice cane, can I pray?" "You have a cane, I have God, can I pray for you?" "Hi sir, shopping for Triscuits I see?" The more I thought about it, the less I had confidence in approaching this man. I thought of going to stand beside him to buy some Triscuits or following him until we waited in line together at the check-out aisle, but none of it seemed to resonate. I followed him for a little while and then decided to abandon ship. It just wasn't going to happen today. Go to the check-out and head home. Maybe yesterday's surprise beginning was more me and not God, but I really felt God 'highlight' them to me to pray for. Learning God's way is definitely process.
As I resigned that the day was going to be unproductive, I pulled in the driveway at home and noticed the neighbor's lawn being tended to by a father and three children. Sadly she is newly widowed. But then I saw it, the man had a wrap around his leg! Gotta go see if I can pray for this man. I went over and chatted with my neighbor and although this man was only a mere 3 feet away, there was no greeting or socializing. Finally I asked, "What did you do to your leg?" He didn't answer. The neighbor got his attention. "What did you do to your leg?" I asked again.
"I hurt it awhile back ago," he said, "but I haven't done anything with it. Costs too much." I agreed.
We chatted a bit more and it became apparent he was not overly eager to talk. So I just asked him if I could pray for his knee. He consented although I think he did so more out of not wanting to offend me or my neighbor. I knelt down and asked the little 4 year-old girl to join me. This whole thing was strange to her and she didn't want any part of it. I may be wrong but it appeared that this was not a praying family--a good family but not a praying family. Trying to be sensitive to the situation I just kept my prayer brief, chatted casually with no religious speak, and then headed back to the house. I don't know if He was touched by the Lord as I didn't ask. The lesson from Day #1 just didn't seem to apply to this situation.
Overall score one for God. When I thought I'd lost my opportunity(s), God brought someone literally right next door. At this point it feels more of a miracle that He brought someone for me to pray over than whether or not they were healed or not. Granted it is only Day #2. Hopefully I'll mature.
Learning moment of the day: When you think you hear the still small voice, listen to it. And when you think all is lost, remember that God is more concerned for hurting people than you.
Confession from Day #2: I'm concerned about finding people to pray for each day. I've got a few in my pocket--the sick people at church on Sundays, my friend in a wheel chair this weekend, etc... but finding people and approaching them is a concern.
Another confession from Day #2: I haven't told anyone I'm doing this or advertised this experiment on Facebook as I'm honestly a little bit scared abouttrying to find trusting God to bring to me 38 more days of people. Yikes! But it was seriously God today...again. If it wasn't for Him, the title here may just have stopped at "failed." Thanks God! (And would you please do it again?)
So after I realized it was the Lord, I apologized to Him and asked for another opportunity, but where? After work I hit the grocery store as I did need to buy some things. On the way to the store I thought of maybe asking the cashier if she needed prayer, but then again, maybe I could phone a friend who I know is fresh out of the hospital. That was it! I couldn't "lay hands on the sick" but I could sure ask Jesus to do so and pray for my friend over the phone. Maybe it was a cop-out though. But is it? I felt a kind of "peace" from the Lord so I wasn't sure.
Anyway, I got to Dillons and scanned the store. NOBODY. Seriously folks, where are all you limping people hiding?! I know you're out there! I scanned arms, legs, hands, etc... I couldn't find a single one. And as I got to the cash-register and toyed with the idea of asking her if she needed prayer, it just didn't seem right. It was busy and while no one was behind me, I just wasn't feel the situation lent itself to a "spiritual" moment.
When I got home I tried twice to call my friend who was fresh from the hospital. No answer. That's when I decided today's post would have "fail" somewhere in the title. Somehow I had just lost my opportunity with the woman this morning. And I was just too tired to go "shopping" at the mall on the other side of town. But then I decided to go to Wal-Mart. I was trying a new recipe and had forgotten to get some taco seasoning. At first I thought it was a cop-out again for not reaching my friend on the phone but regardless, I needed taco seasoning.
I walked into Wal-Mart past the fruit section and BINGO, limping man with cane on the main aisle shopping for Triscuits. But how do I approach him. "Hey dude, nice cane, can I pray?" "You have a cane, I have God, can I pray for you?" "Hi sir, shopping for Triscuits I see?" The more I thought about it, the less I had confidence in approaching this man. I thought of going to stand beside him to buy some Triscuits or following him until we waited in line together at the check-out aisle, but none of it seemed to resonate. I followed him for a little while and then decided to abandon ship. It just wasn't going to happen today. Go to the check-out and head home. Maybe yesterday's surprise beginning was more me and not God, but I really felt God 'highlight' them to me to pray for. Learning God's way is definitely process.
As I resigned that the day was going to be unproductive, I pulled in the driveway at home and noticed the neighbor's lawn being tended to by a father and three children. Sadly she is newly widowed. But then I saw it, the man had a wrap around his leg! Gotta go see if I can pray for this man. I went over and chatted with my neighbor and although this man was only a mere 3 feet away, there was no greeting or socializing. Finally I asked, "What did you do to your leg?" He didn't answer. The neighbor got his attention. "What did you do to your leg?" I asked again.
"I hurt it awhile back ago," he said, "but I haven't done anything with it. Costs too much." I agreed.
We chatted a bit more and it became apparent he was not overly eager to talk. So I just asked him if I could pray for his knee. He consented although I think he did so more out of not wanting to offend me or my neighbor. I knelt down and asked the little 4 year-old girl to join me. This whole thing was strange to her and she didn't want any part of it. I may be wrong but it appeared that this was not a praying family--a good family but not a praying family. Trying to be sensitive to the situation I just kept my prayer brief, chatted casually with no religious speak, and then headed back to the house. I don't know if He was touched by the Lord as I didn't ask. The lesson from Day #1 just didn't seem to apply to this situation.
Overall score one for God. When I thought I'd lost my opportunity(s), God brought someone literally right next door. At this point it feels more of a miracle that He brought someone for me to pray over than whether or not they were healed or not. Granted it is only Day #2. Hopefully I'll mature.
Learning moment of the day: When you think you hear the still small voice, listen to it. And when you think all is lost, remember that God is more concerned for hurting people than you.
Confession from Day #2: I'm concerned about finding people to pray for each day. I've got a few in my pocket--the sick people at church on Sundays, my friend in a wheel chair this weekend, etc... but finding people and approaching them is a concern.
Another confession from Day #2: I haven't told anyone I'm doing this or advertised this experiment on Facebook as I'm honestly a little bit scared about
Monday, April 16, 2012
Day 1: It began not of my planning
I've had continuing education classes all weekend and work during the week and so I wasn't planning on starting. But the Lord had other plans. Two people were prayed for today. It was a casual quick prayer as they were moving on to other things but it was a start. I felt the Lord highlighting them and so with that as my leading, I went for it.
One of my concerns has been finding people with ailments. On the one hand it seems easy to just waltz through the grocery story and find the folks who are faltering. But as I was casually grocery shopping the other day I wasn't seeing the cripples. So maybe the mall? Surely there are cripples there. Or maybe I ask for God to point someone out, sort of like He did today. That option seems much more pleasant than going "shopping" every day for the next 39 days.
Last night I was encouraged in a conversation with a friend. Someone in her circle of friends went to an annual exam and was found to have cancer (again). They prayed for her and when she went in for her second exam, she was cancer free. Ten years ago I would have chalked it up as a faulty first test. Except that ten years ago I experienced my own instantaneous, measurable albeit undramatic healing (super-natural does not mean super-freakish-outish). One instant I was the way I'd been my whole life. The next instant I was healed. It ruined my wish-filled, placating prayers. And it opened my eyes to see Scriptures I'd never seen:
"Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus" (Ac 4: 29-30).
Seriously, where had that one been? Apostles actually praying for God to give them miracles and healing to accompany and even validate the gospel? That was NOT how I was raised. Those things passed away a couple thousand years ago, didn't they? At least that was what I thought until God healed me that day and wrecked my safe theology.
Anyway, my friend and I began to talk about how it seems like we are in a season where healing is beginning to occur more frequently in this country, not just on the mission field. This is encouraging. Really encouraging. I'd love to see him break out in miracles that are connected to the preaching the gospel. And if He is beginning to move in this way, I want to follow His lead into this dance. It could sure make these 40 days interesting.
I did have a thought to consider: After I pray for someone, perhaps it would be wise to stop and ask them if they are feeling any change. If He chooses to do it at a different time, that's fine but if God heals someone on the spot I want to know! But if I don't ask, I won't know. Learning experience #1. Day #1.
One of my concerns has been finding people with ailments. On the one hand it seems easy to just waltz through the grocery story and find the folks who are faltering. But as I was casually grocery shopping the other day I wasn't seeing the cripples. So maybe the mall? Surely there are cripples there. Or maybe I ask for God to point someone out, sort of like He did today. That option seems much more pleasant than going "shopping" every day for the next 39 days.
Last night I was encouraged in a conversation with a friend. Someone in her circle of friends went to an annual exam and was found to have cancer (again). They prayed for her and when she went in for her second exam, she was cancer free. Ten years ago I would have chalked it up as a faulty first test. Except that ten years ago I experienced my own instantaneous, measurable albeit undramatic healing (super-natural does not mean super-freakish-outish). One instant I was the way I'd been my whole life. The next instant I was healed. It ruined my wish-filled, placating prayers. And it opened my eyes to see Scriptures I'd never seen:
"Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus" (Ac 4: 29-30).
Seriously, where had that one been? Apostles actually praying for God to give them miracles and healing to accompany and even validate the gospel? That was NOT how I was raised. Those things passed away a couple thousand years ago, didn't they? At least that was what I thought until God healed me that day and wrecked my safe theology.
Anyway, my friend and I began to talk about how it seems like we are in a season where healing is beginning to occur more frequently in this country, not just on the mission field. This is encouraging. Really encouraging. I'd love to see him break out in miracles that are connected to the preaching the gospel. And if He is beginning to move in this way, I want to follow His lead into this dance. It could sure make these 40 days interesting.
I did have a thought to consider: After I pray for someone, perhaps it would be wise to stop and ask them if they are feeling any change. If He chooses to do it at a different time, that's fine but if God heals someone on the spot I want to know! But if I don't ask, I won't know. Learning experience #1. Day #1.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Jesus did NOT say to pray for the sick
That's right. Jesus did NOT say to pray for the sick. He said to "heal the sick" (Mt 10:8). Huge difference. Healing means praying, but this praying is bold believing.
I'm going to go for it. Forty days. Felt the green light of the Lord. Now just when to start. Maybe in the next week or two. Maybe tomorrow. Could be an adventure.
I'm going to go for it. Forty days. Felt the green light of the Lord. Now just when to start. Maybe in the next week or two. Maybe tomorrow. Could be an adventure.
Monday, April 9, 2012
40 Days: Books vs. The Bible
Today is the last day where I took 40 days of not reading any books other than the Bible (with the exception of an occasional Oswald Chambers short devotional). I did it out of a recognition that while I read Scripture daily, I read a lot of other books. Mostly books that inspire my faith but the bottom line is they were getting more of my time and attention than the Bible.
I realized some things in these 40 days. First of all, that 40 days is a LONG time. Maybe if I do any of these experiments I've been talking about 40 days would be a good number. It's long enough that you really get challenged to break old paradigms. Secondly during this 40 day absence of reading other books I began to think about the kind of books I have been reading. Most of them are stories about people living the kind of life that I long to live, doing the things that I would like to be doing, and God willing hope to be doing someday. Dreams I've been pursuing for years. Yearnings of the heart that only God knows if they will come to fruition.
Even more than that though in the past few weeks I feel like I've really had a new desire to read and meditate on Scripture. I've WANTED to and have had the desire to read Scripture more than usual. I've also read things and my eyes have been more open to things I haven't seen before, little details I missed or parts that I thought I understood but really didn't. It's been so good. Perhaps we have a subtle hunger that is easily suppressed when fed too quickly with the substitute, albeit a good one.
The next question on the table is "where to from here?" It's kind of like ending a diet or a fast and the first thing you want to do is run out and gobble down all the food you couldn't have. But the greater desire I have is a hunger not to lose...the hunger. The hunger for the Word. I want to look forward each time I come to the Word and not just with a hunger of the head or even the heart but a hunger of the spirit. Not just the intentional, dedicated approach to the Word but the approach of one who smells fresh baked bread (and knowing that there's real butter in the fridge). Perhaps this isn't the end of an experiment but just the beginning of a new one.
I realized some things in these 40 days. First of all, that 40 days is a LONG time. Maybe if I do any of these experiments I've been talking about 40 days would be a good number. It's long enough that you really get challenged to break old paradigms. Secondly during this 40 day absence of reading other books I began to think about the kind of books I have been reading. Most of them are stories about people living the kind of life that I long to live, doing the things that I would like to be doing, and God willing hope to be doing someday. Dreams I've been pursuing for years. Yearnings of the heart that only God knows if they will come to fruition.
Even more than that though in the past few weeks I feel like I've really had a new desire to read and meditate on Scripture. I've WANTED to and have had the desire to read Scripture more than usual. I've also read things and my eyes have been more open to things I haven't seen before, little details I missed or parts that I thought I understood but really didn't. It's been so good. Perhaps we have a subtle hunger that is easily suppressed when fed too quickly with the substitute, albeit a good one.
The next question on the table is "where to from here?" It's kind of like ending a diet or a fast and the first thing you want to do is run out and gobble down all the food you couldn't have. But the greater desire I have is a hunger not to lose...the hunger. The hunger for the Word. I want to look forward each time I come to the Word and not just with a hunger of the head or even the heart but a hunger of the spirit. Not just the intentional, dedicated approach to the Word but the approach of one who smells fresh baked bread (and knowing that there's real butter in the fridge). Perhaps this isn't the end of an experiment but just the beginning of a new one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)