How much?

Love is measured by how much we are willing to suffer for that which we love.

Same God

Sometimes I get frustrated when there are those who've had a smooth beaver-cleaver life and they just don't understand because they can't.

Other times I hear people's stories and I try to understand but their story doesn't pierce my heart, I haven't lived their situation.  I don't fully understand because I can't. 

But even in that, there is one piece we can can lean on and it is the bridge that makes communication and mutual encouragement genuinely possible.  It is this:

We don't have the same situations in life, but we do have the same Savior.

Doors

"No" doesn't always mean forever "no" but sometimes "no for now."

Weekend

Lord, I love you more than Saturday morning sleep.

The Moment of Faith

Someone was saying a few months ago that Hollywood has nothing on Scripture.  I agree.  And was inspired to make this simple video:

This is the one who deceived the nations?!

Satan is no opposite of God.  

AT the end of the day

If love is a decision then it is not something that can die.

Togther

My ideal Bible study would be a group of people who studied the Word and together sought to obey it.

Grace

Grace is when problems have happened, but the relationship has not been broken nor have judgments been passed.

Whose praise?

Man honors something big, but God honors someone who is obedient.

Soil of Innovation

"Analytical thinking without faith is negativity...and negativity and creativity can't grow in the same soil together..." -Darlene Cunningham

Evangelism

"The preaching of the gospel was at the heart of the Great Awakenings.  There can be no evangelism without revival, but there is no true revival that does not result in evangelism.  The reason for this is that revival results in both the reawakening of Christians who have grown cold and the awakening of dead souls (evangelism)."



Bob Bakke

Discernment Wisdom

"It's good to have discernment, but once the discernment turns to judgment, wisdom goes out the window..." -Darlene Cunningham

Koinonia?

Today I was at church still have fresh thought about the book I've been reading about community.  I wonder how of community is in "church."  I have more social interaction with the Wal-mart cashier than I do at "church."  That's not a slam, criticism but an observation.  I think it is unhealthy to chuck the church because the structure isn't conducive to community, but it might well be worth reexamining and making some changes. 

Lovers Know Names

"If love doesn't know a name I wonder if it's love." 

I wrote something like this on my facebook a couple of months ago.  Couple that with reading the book "Christianity Rediscovered" by Vincent Donovon and he talks a lot about the Masai community.  Community is something the West doesn't understand much.  It is a total identification with others, does not have competition, takes care of the needs in the community and provides protection.  There are no orphans, the sick are cared for, the beautiful and the strong are celebrated, the weak and the unintelligent are cared for, forgiveness is a must, etc... It isn't perfect, but it's a way so many people of the earth live. 

Then I think of our "programs" to feed the poor or take care of needs.  They are usually on mass scale.  People show "love" but it doesn't have many names.  I wonder the effectiveness of mass love.  Does it really meet the poverty of the pocket and the heart?  Perhaps meeting the needs of the ones through relationship is a better way.  But it takes living like we're in community.  The community close the community of humanity.  Love at its best knows the name of the beloved, and knows it well.

40 Days...um...4 days

It happened again...I got sidetracked by a massive project.  Tried for 4 days along with my cousin and I think she was a lot more successful than I.  :) 

In the meantime I've moved into a job at a higher level.  Clearly I have been shown (not from any outside comments as such) but that complaining at this level is not permissible.  Nor whining, or self-pity or moaning about the 72 emails I got in the inbox last night.  This must stop completely.  It's a new day, a new season and a new level...if I will live up to it.  Lord, help.

Day 4: If for a few hours

My goal today was to make it to lunch with no complaints.  Didn't even make it past breakfast, or brunch, or church.  I have hope for the afternoon though--not many people around.  :)

I'm wondering if it would be interesting to log the subjects of my complaining and see if there are pocket areas of discontent.  Perhaps that's an idea.


On a totally different note, I made the jump and got an iphone 5.  This from someone who was using a flip phone of years ago.  I'm a bit hesitant though.  I don't want to be one of those people who has it in their face constantly.  Nor do I want to let it distract my spirit from the things of God.  Facebook proves that we do indeed have ample amount of time for prayer, we just use our time for tech toys.  I don't want to do that with this phone.

So I accidentally did something and all my contacts disappears.  Yes, all of them.  So this morning when I usually do prayer time, I spent time working on adding them in.  I was feeling kind of guilty about not going to the Word and prayer first which is my usual goal.  But then I had the idea of praying for the people whose names I was adding into my phone contact list.  It became such a special time of prayer.  Some names I could barely remember who they were, other names were those of ones struggling, others doing well.  What a way to end up worship!  May this phone always lead to greater intimacy with Jesus first, foremost and evermost, not just a tech gadget that I justify that does so.

And yes, I took a hard copy of the Bible to church today.  To hear, "Everyone, please turn on your Bibles" is more than I can bear.  :)

Day 3: It's Saturday! And it feels like a Sunday!

I've had such breakthrough that I'm just in a place of joy this morning!  We had one of our staff circle meetings where we celebrated blessing but then spoke out our needs.  That was hard to do but I spoke out my desperate need for some shoes.  Mine were ripping me feet to shreds and replacement was a difficult financial question.

Through some unexpected intervention I was able to get some shoes.  Then I was able to use some of the extra finances to bless and take care of someone in their difficult hour.  Considering how much I was blessed on my recent trip home, this was a no brainer and a great joy!  (Who knew that a random staying overnight at a family's house would allow me a clearer picture to love on someone else?!)

Then I received my tax refund back which was larger than I thought!

Then I found $6 on the road.  

Then I received news that my health insurance would be supported!

I had spent all last night thinking the time had come to upgrade my phone (it's countless years old) but I was wrestling with the 2 year contract and cost.  With my health insurance supported, I can now use that to take care of my phone costs!

Wowsers!  And here 2 days ago I was wondering if I would be the one to get the "miracle."

He is Good!  Time to share the goodness.


Let's keep praise on my tongue all day!  (But just in case the band is now on my wrist.)

-------

I had less switches today but then again I started off with lots of good things happening.  I did catch myself once or twice before words were spoken and I realized without even trying my mind was trying to take righteous perspective on things and not just complaining.  Need this to be more of a habit. 

Day 2: Band is On

I'm starting out the day trying to get into my head that this is about obedience and about making intentional effort.  Right now I'm not super-psyched up about this challenge but that's Ok.  It really is about obedience.  "Do everything without complaining or arguing," says Paul.  And the Israelities grumbled so much it kept them out of the promised land.  Do we have any idea how serious our complaining is?  It is definitely one of our cultural blind spots.

8:25 am--I have yet to interact with humanity (just the computer) so at this point the mouth is clean.

And so it begins--Day 1

And there was evening and there was morning and it was the first day... we'll see how she goes.


Method:  With every complaint or words spoken with a spirit of complaint, the purple band on my wrist must be switched to the other wrist and I must start over again.

Goal:  To string together 5 days of no complaining within the next 40 days.

Thoughts:  Dear people, if you've never tried this, don't even laugh at how "easy" 5 days is or think that you really don't complain much.  I dare you to join me even for a few days!  (Gotta use the band though.)  :)


7:48 am--So far so good.  If I can make it 42 more minutes without switching the band on my wrist, I will have made it farther than last time (Scroll down after clicking:  40 Days of No Complaining.)

8:45 am--Made it longer than last time.  Granted I've only spoken about 5 sentences this morning.  I'm off to some training here in about 10 minutes so we'll see how it goes when I actually have to be around others.  :)

2:45 pm -- I've had about 6 switching of wrists so far.  One of them I was stating my opinion that the kitchen here is too expensive to check out.  I wrestled whether this was a complaint or not and decided it was.  I was not asked my opinion and it was not a necessary comment to the discussion.  :/ 

8:24 pm--This evening I was so busy I am not sure if I complained or not.  That's Ok.

Lesson Learned:  First I need to have a stronger desire to make this work.  I need greater intentionality and not just "Ok, I'll flip the band."  But I did stop myself several times from complaining so there are at least 3 fewer complaints in the air.  :)

Grumble, grumble got to take a tumble

Kind of sickened lately about the grumbling that keeps coming out of someone's mouth.  Drives me crazy.  Problem is it's from my mouth.  Thinking of taking on the 40 days of no-complaining challenge.  Yes, it's stirring again.  Not committed yet though...

Where We See

If we look only to the hardships, trials and difficulties, the fruit will be discouragement, despair and abandonment.  I hope wherever I get, I remember to look to Jesus.  Not that there aren't hard days, but I want to fixate on his face alone, not on the difficulties.  I write this to remember in the difficult hour...

He is Who He Says He Is

About a week ago I started praying for a table to eat at (living on support one tends to make concessions with finances).   Without thinking to mention it to anyone, my roommate came home a couple of days ago and announced she had bought a table.   Today it sits beside me as a testimony that He Hears.   :)

Mothers Needed

You don't need to be young and you don't need to be married and you don't to have already had 10 children--mothers are needed.

Who will conceive a dream in the spirit, pray into being and see this man birthed into the kingdom of God?  Who will go through the agony and travail of intercession in order to see a son born?  Who wants to hear the words "mom" in heaven for all eternity because they did what it took to see them born again?

Mothers.  Needed.

Kyrgyz prisoner with lips sewn shot in protest of prison conditions.

His Jealousy, My Comfort

I find the jealousy of God a great comfort to me.   When I am being enticed by evil and am struggling to overcome, His fierce jealously is gloriously unkind to that evil.

Real Danger

A blog post by Noah Kaye (noahkaye.com) which I felt worthy of reposting:

Many people worry about their safety and security. We happen to live and serve in South Africa, a country bound by fear and crime and loaded with gates, locks and alarms. But we also serve in a missional community where many people are preparing to go to hostile places around the world where the gospel has not yet reached. So, danger is a very real thing for many of our friends who are counting the cost of giving their lives.

Last week, I was listening to Floyd McClung (our leader here) teach on values and he started talking about danger in a way that stirred my heart.

• Living in constant disobedience to Jesus…that is dangerous.
• When our greatest goal is to work 70 hours a week for 35 years so we can have a nice house and a pension…that is dangerous.
• When a Mom and Dad compromise the will of God while their kids watch on…that is dangerous.
• When you are more interested in insuring your life on this earth (70 years if you’re lucky) while you do nothing to insure your life for all eternity….that is dangerous.
• Wanna hear something else dangerous? Dangerous is when you install gates, alarms and locks all around you and your family while you open your doors wide to the father of lies, the great destroyer and accuser, satan.

Perhaps it would do us all some good to consider the differences between danger in the world and danger in the Kingdom.

Update on Matt

Matt continues to make improvements although he is still in the ICU.  He is working on learning to drink a little and eat some applesauce as he has not had anything for a month (IV liquid food).  He is able to talk now although some of what he says doesn't make sense.  But we're hopeful that he is on a good path and will come out of this, so thanks for your prayers.  :)

Praying for Matt

As some of you know I'm now back on the Mainland after an emergency trip home.   My step-brother went into the hospital thinking he was just sick from the flu but instead discovered he had one of the rarest gastrointestinal diseases (superior mesenteric artery disease) on the book.   Mortality rate is 1/3.  In addition he developed heart problems, respiratory failure, kidney failure and pneumonia.  He was put on a ventilator.  On Friday he took a turn for the worse and the doctors called the family and told us if we wanted to say good-bye to him we needed to come now.    I flew in last night to Georgia where I'm writing this.

While I was in the air on my way home his vitals that have been so bad began to stabilize so they decided to take him into surgery.  My mother and step-father had just arrived so they were able to see him off.  Miraculously he lived through surgery and instead of repairing the problem which often proves fatal with this disease, the surgeon was able to reroute things.  He went from saying 'it's time to pay your last respects' to 'he may yet live through this.'  He's not out of the woods and we are still in prayer, but hope is growing.  He's still on the respirator and unconscious but they are going to try to wake him up tomorrow.

It's not been an easy time for my family.  In addition we received a call tonight that my kitty of 14 years has taken a turn for the worse since we've been away.  She is not expected to make it through the night.  Our animals feel like members of the family and it's been hard to deal with this on top of what is going on.  Thank you to our dear friends and neighbors who are having to handle this situation for us.

But even in this hour there has been beauty.  You, the body of Christ, stepped up and made it possible for me to come home.  Before I left, the cost of my emergency plane ticket was covered as well as my bills for the next month.  I don't know how long we will be here but I'm able to stay as long as needed.  So thank you dear friends.  You have given richly and in the hour of need, that has taken a burden off.  You are the most beautiful bride of Christ!

Please be in prayer for Matt and my family.  While he has had nothing short of a miraculous turn around, things are still very much on shaky ground.  The pneumonia is still a huge issue and he is at high risk of sepsis.  He is still in ICU and will be there for some time.

Thank you again for all your love, prayers and support.