Debt is Always Spiritual

I thought I was doing good.  That this was the part of life I handled somewhat Ok.   But it very quickly has become the chapter of life that I didn't know I needed to write.

Like I said, I thought I was doing pretty well.  I had seen members of my family suffer at the hands of debt's death grip so I didn't want to travel that road.  If I had a credit card purchase, I paid it off.  By the extraordinary grace of God and from some incredibly righteous gifts,  I was able to get through undergraduate and graduate school with no loans.   I couldn't exactly say I was ahead, but I would tell you I wasn't in debt.  Or so I thought.  And then it came.  Those words that have set in motion a rapidly unfolding journey:

"Debt is always spiritual."

It was the word of the Lord.  It's not about what you have on paper somewhere; Debt is a spiritual transaction between two entities.

"The borrower is slave to the lender." (Prov 22:7)

My mistake came because I had somewhat of a cleared debt on paper.  The bank was happy.  The student loan people were happy.  The credit card people were....well... not happy.  They don't like it when folks borrow from them and pay back right away.

But if debt is spiritual, then it means whenever I've told someone, "Hey, I'll pay you back for that" and I've forgotten, I'm still in debt.  I still owe.  And I'm still a slave to the lender.   Whether they remember or not.

So I'm repenting.  And repenting some more.  Because God is helping me remember.

Truth is sometimes painful, but it is also liberty.

Postponed

The latest 40 challenge of no-complaining for 40 days has been post-poned.  I've been so occupied with the school development that it's not something I'm able to focus on.  I will start again later.  :)

Day 1: The spirit

By 8:30 am I've had to switch the purple rubber band 3 times now.  What I've discovered is that while I do not always complain directly, there is a spirit of complaining behind my words and that qualifies for the switch.  For example, this morning episode:

"I have to get up earlier than all my roommates or I won't be able to get into the bathroom.   It is going to be worse when classes start because then we'll all get up at the same time.  Not only that but we may be getting 2 more roommates or moving all together.  I hope we don't move.  But it's all good because being packed out means growth is happening..."

I was stating facts.  It is true I need to get up very early and that it will be a challenge when classes start.  So much of our complaining is about "telling facts."  But behind these words were the spirit of complaining.  There goes the purple band.

Complaining is hard to define by words.  It is spirit primarily.

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Second half of day was even worse.  Abstaining details that would lead to all out slander, I worked under a volunteer today and when she was not near, needless to say I had to move the purple bracelet countless times.  

40 Days: The Hardest Yet

I've been putting this off for awhile.  Oh, I've had my excuses.  Moving.  Setting up a new place.  Trying to put together a training program.  Anything to ward off what I know to be the next 40 day challenge.  Ward off because I know the extent of the problem.

Imagine:  40 days of no complaining about anything or anyone

Sound easy?  Try it for yourself. 

It begins with a purple wrist band.  They sell them at some church in Kansas where it was originally promoted (check out the Today show host trying to do this challenge).  I'm not going to use one of theirs.  Ironically (cough, sputter) I found a purple rubber band in my dresser.   Seriously?  Come on, who makes purple rubber bands?

So every time I hear myself complaining about something or someone, the band gets switched from one wrist to the other.  How many days is the goal? Well the original church challenge was for 21 days.  It just took an average of 3-7 months for people to string that together.  To be that intentional that long would be...well...long.  Is that a complaint?

My goal is to see if in 40 days I can string together at least 7 consecutive days without a complaint.  God help me.  And if you're anywhere near me, I invite you to help as well (in case I complain and don't realize it).  Even better yet, see if you can make it through one day of no complaining.  Surely there's got to be a purple rubber band in your drawer too...

The Speaking Heart

Fish and chips.  It sounded good.  It was expensive.  I ordered it.  I was content.  For about 3 seconds.

Enter friend who states she ordered Chinese.  Earlier I had thought to myself all I wanted was some meat and vegetables but I couldn't find any.  Now I had a plate full of fish and chips...well actually fish and salad.  I did try to get something to satiate my conscience.  But now I didn't didn't want that fish and chips.  I wanted Chinese!

It got worse.  I went with my fish and salad over to see the Chinese place.  An order would have been $4 less!  I could've kept $4 more dollars in my "restaurant budget" (yes, I'm in economic repentance in which I now use a budget).  A whole $4! I could about buy another meal for that!  Ok, maybe not here.  But somewhere!

This was a problem.  The fish and salad which looked good mere seconds ago was now despised.  I did eat it, but not with much pleasure.  I would have preferred the Chinese.  I wanted that meat and vegetables.

And there it was.  Discontent in all its ugliness.  Had I never heard or seen that there was Chinese food nearby, I would have taken great pleasure in the fish.  I might have even enjoyed it.  But discontent leaves an unpleasant taste in the mouth.  And all I saw now was a lot of grease on my plate and grease on my fingers and fat on my thighs and it all gives me something to complain about.  This is going downhill fast.  Where are the brakes?!

So where does this discontent come from?  When I have something to compare it to.  Comparison is at the root of discontent.  We are happy with what we have... until we see something more appealing.  Have a great spouse that you find pleasure in?  Meet someone who is attractive, godly, wonderful, kind, appreciative, respectful.  All of a sudden that spouse that was so wonderful now seems...less.   Even if the "other" isn't pursued.  And there are more things for comparison.   What about that job?  That ministry?  The house?  The car?   It all is something we can enjoy until we see someone in similar circumstances who has something a little better.  Comparison.  It is the death of our joy.

The remedy?  The speaking heart of gratitude.  The heart.  The place where we really think.  And the mouth that speaks, the agent that is a necessary for the thoughts of the heart to become reality.  Take a family I know.

They didn't like each other.  The husband didn't like the wife.  The wife didn't like the husband.  The kids didn't like each other.  They weren't too fond of their parents either.   It was a messy mess and with angry explosions they were about to face total collapse and become another statistic.  Another failure story.  Another...you get the picture.

Enter a husband who said enough.  Each and every single night for months the family sat down to say 2 words of gratitude and appreciation to each other.  Silence abounded.  It almost couldn't be done.  Not because of rebelliousness, but because there were so very few sincere thoughts to say.  The heart had heavy shades.  But relentless pursuit of righteousness began a slow sunrise.  The heart began to think and it was good.  The mouth began to speak and it was better.  And the heart heard what the mouth said and more thoughts came which was the best yet.  But most importantly life returned.  Light returned.  And joy returned.  (If you need three "L's" just add "light-heartedness returned.").  It was glorious and triumphant victory.  Ongoing victory.  Victory that does not end.  As Jesus says,

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light."

And there was light.

And it was the first day.

Confession is Good for the Soul

I have something to confess.  Last night I made a post asking to donate to a water project for my birthday.  I don't hesitate asking because I know how dire the need is.  And when I had my first person donate, it brought me to tears.  Still does.   But I have to confess something.  I gave way to fear. 

The reality is that I would like a goal of $5000 as that will fund the entire project.  But I gave way to fear and only put $1000.   I was too afraid no one would give and that the goal couldn't be met.  Furthermore I've struggled with this whole turning this particular number.  I don't know why.  Maybe it's because I'm so far from home, family and friends.  :(  I know it's not because I feel old or think this number is old.  I don't.  I really don't.  Although at times I had hoped/expected to be in a different place in life right now.  But at the same time I'm glad to be re-entering the waters of missions and am looking forward to what is ahead.  And my goodness, I'm in a tropical paradise!  So again, I don't know why it's bothering me but it is.  So the thought of going for $5000 is a risk to the heart.   And fear gave way.  So this morning I repented before the Lord and asked for permission for His grace.  I ask the same of you.

This week I heard the expression pertaining to Peter's walking on water that "I'd rather be a wet water walker than a dry boat talker."  That's exactly the way I feel.  So I'm going for it. If I don't get to the $5k, I'd rather say that I gave it a shot then played my heart safe.  But I need your help.  Will you email this link to 7 friends?  At this point I can't think of any other way.  Maybe through our connections we can together get this whole community in Africa clean water.   And I just love the thought that we get to see actual pictures of this project.  I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate 40 years of my life.

So here's the link:

http://mycharitywater.org/melissa-bs-40th

So there's my heart laid out raw before you.

Love to you guys

Birthday!

Hello friends!

I'm about to turn a year older this year (Sept 28th) and hopefully I'm a little wiser. I wanted to do something different this year as it is a special birthday and I'm a long ways away from friends and family.

This year, I'm giving up my birthday for charity: water. With 800 million people on this planet that still don't have access to clean drinking water and often die young, I'd like to change that for one community.  Every single penny goes to drill a well, and when the project is complete (typically within 18 months), they'll send us a digital completion report with GPS coordinates and photos of the community we helped. (Just FYI--Charity Water was started by a man who served 2 years on a YWAM Mercy Ship).

Instead of giving me presents this year, would you please donate whatever you are able for my birthday, and help me bring clean water to a whole town in need? The place that funds will go to will be in the Rulindo district of Rwanda.  Also, would you be so kind as to let others know I'm legit?  (I have gray hairs to prove it.  Yikes!)  I've got a goal of $1000 and I need help meeting that goal.

Please go to my campaign to donate: http://mycharitywater.org/melissa-bs-40th

Thank you for your support!

Melissa :)