Whose praise?

Man honors something big, but God honors someone who is obedient.

Soil of Innovation

"Analytical thinking without faith is negativity...and negativity and creativity can't grow in the same soil together..." -Darlene Cunningham

Evangelism

"The preaching of the gospel was at the heart of the Great Awakenings.  There can be no evangelism without revival, but there is no true revival that does not result in evangelism.  The reason for this is that revival results in both the reawakening of Christians who have grown cold and the awakening of dead souls (evangelism)."



Bob Bakke

Discernment Wisdom

"It's good to have discernment, but once the discernment turns to judgment, wisdom goes out the window..." -Darlene Cunningham

Koinonia?

Today I was at church still have fresh thought about the book I've been reading about community.  I wonder how of community is in "church."  I have more social interaction with the Wal-mart cashier than I do at "church."  That's not a slam, criticism but an observation.  I think it is unhealthy to chuck the church because the structure isn't conducive to community, but it might well be worth reexamining and making some changes. 

Lovers Know Names

"If love doesn't know a name I wonder if it's love." 

I wrote something like this on my facebook a couple of months ago.  Couple that with reading the book "Christianity Rediscovered" by Vincent Donovon and he talks a lot about the Masai community.  Community is something the West doesn't understand much.  It is a total identification with others, does not have competition, takes care of the needs in the community and provides protection.  There are no orphans, the sick are cared for, the beautiful and the strong are celebrated, the weak and the unintelligent are cared for, forgiveness is a must, etc... It isn't perfect, but it's a way so many people of the earth live. 

Then I think of our "programs" to feed the poor or take care of needs.  They are usually on mass scale.  People show "love" but it doesn't have many names.  I wonder the effectiveness of mass love.  Does it really meet the poverty of the pocket and the heart?  Perhaps meeting the needs of the ones through relationship is a better way.  But it takes living like we're in community.  The community close the community of humanity.  Love at its best knows the name of the beloved, and knows it well.

Grumble, grumble got to take a tumble

Kind of sickened lately about the grumbling that keeps coming out of someone's mouth.  Drives me crazy.  Problem is it's from my mouth.  Thinking of taking on the 40 days of no-complaining challenge.  Yes, it's stirring again.  Not committed yet though...

Where We See

If we look only to the hardships, trials and difficulties, the fruit will be discouragement, despair and abandonment.  I hope wherever I get, I remember to look to Jesus.  Not that there aren't hard days, but I want to fixate on his face alone, not on the difficulties.  I write this to remember in the difficult hour...

He is Who He Says He Is

About a week ago I started praying for a table to eat at (living on support one tends to make concessions with finances).   Without thinking to mention it to anyone, my roommate came home a couple of days ago and announced she had bought a table.   Today it sits beside me as a testimony that He Hears.   :)

Mothers Needed

You don't need to be young and you don't need to be married and you don't to have already had 10 children--mothers are needed.

Who will conceive a dream in the spirit, pray into being and see this man birthed into the kingdom of God?  Who will go through the agony and travail of intercession in order to see a son born?  Who wants to hear the words "mom" in heaven for all eternity because they did what it took to see them born again?

Mothers.  Needed.

Kyrgyz prisoner with lips sewn shot in protest of prison conditions.

His Jealousy, My Comfort

I find the jealousy of God a great comfort to me.   When I am being enticed by evil and am struggling to overcome, His fierce jealously is gloriously unkind to that evil.

Real Danger

A blog post by Noah Kaye (noahkaye.com) which I felt worthy of reposting:

Many people worry about their safety and security. We happen to live and serve in South Africa, a country bound by fear and crime and loaded with gates, locks and alarms. But we also serve in a missional community where many people are preparing to go to hostile places around the world where the gospel has not yet reached. So, danger is a very real thing for many of our friends who are counting the cost of giving their lives.

Last week, I was listening to Floyd McClung (our leader here) teach on values and he started talking about danger in a way that stirred my heart.

• Living in constant disobedience to Jesus…that is dangerous.
• When our greatest goal is to work 70 hours a week for 35 years so we can have a nice house and a pension…that is dangerous.
• When a Mom and Dad compromise the will of God while their kids watch on…that is dangerous.
• When you are more interested in insuring your life on this earth (70 years if you’re lucky) while you do nothing to insure your life for all eternity….that is dangerous.
• Wanna hear something else dangerous? Dangerous is when you install gates, alarms and locks all around you and your family while you open your doors wide to the father of lies, the great destroyer and accuser, satan.

Perhaps it would do us all some good to consider the differences between danger in the world and danger in the Kingdom.

Praying for Matt

As some of you know I'm now back on the Mainland after an emergency trip home.   My step-brother went into the hospital thinking he was just sick from the flu but instead discovered he had one of the rarest gastrointestinal diseases (superior mesenteric artery disease) on the book.   Mortality rate is 1/3.  In addition he developed heart problems, respiratory failure, kidney failure and pneumonia.  He was put on a ventilator.  On Friday he took a turn for the worse and the doctors called the family and told us if we wanted to say good-bye to him we needed to come now.    I flew in last night to Georgia where I'm writing this.

While I was in the air on my way home his vitals that have been so bad began to stabilize so they decided to take him into surgery.  My mother and step-father had just arrived so they were able to see him off.  Miraculously he lived through surgery and instead of repairing the problem which often proves fatal with this disease, the surgeon was able to reroute things.  He went from saying 'it's time to pay your last respects' to 'he may yet live through this.'  He's not out of the woods and we are still in prayer, but hope is growing.  He's still on the respirator and unconscious but they are going to try to wake him up tomorrow.

It's not been an easy time for my family.  In addition we received a call tonight that my kitty of 14 years has taken a turn for the worse since we've been away.  She is not expected to make it through the night.  Our animals feel like members of the family and it's been hard to deal with this on top of what is going on.  Thank you to our dear friends and neighbors who are having to handle this situation for us.

But even in this hour there has been beauty.  You, the body of Christ, stepped up and made it possible for me to come home.  Before I left, the cost of my emergency plane ticket was covered as well as my bills for the next month.  I don't know how long we will be here but I'm able to stay as long as needed.  So thank you dear friends.  You have given richly and in the hour of need, that has taken a burden off.  You are the most beautiful bride of Christ!

Please be in prayer for Matt and my family.  While he has had nothing short of a miraculous turn around, things are still very much on shaky ground.  The pneumonia is still a huge issue and he is at high risk of sepsis.  He is still in ICU and will be there for some time.

Thank you again for all your love, prayers and support.

Will you let me testify?

In 2012:

• I told the Lord I did NOT want to return to ministry with debt (a.k.a student loans) that had been recently acquired for PTA school.  I didn't have the ability to pay it off and I needed his help.  Three days before I left and with many miracles, my debt was zero.
• I asked the Lord for a car while I was here.  He provided.
• I really wanted to live with a Brazilian to continue with Portuguese.  I didn't ask just thought it.  One of my roommates was from Brazil.  
• I told the Lord I did not want to reduce my giving to others now that I was again on "support from heaven" and not from a job.  Every month He has provided to give to others.
• I told the Lord I wanted a Brita filter, found one free.  Told the Lord I wanted a special kind of double-walled cup that didn't condense everywhere--found one in the apartment cupboard.  Told the Lord I wanted a clip light for the bed so I could read at night.   Next night my roommate mentions she has one, would I like it.
• I was convicted about some debts I needed to repay.  The Lord provided a means.
• I have been trying for weeks to find a place off-campus and praying but nothing has happened.  I  did NOT EVER AGAIN want to move one more stinking time on campus.  Had a meltdown yesterday.  Told the Lord that "YOU are my Father and it is YOUR responsibility to take good care of me and I NEED A PLACE TO STAY OFF-CAMPUS and it's YOUR problem."  I felt the Lord kind of laugh (in a good, slightly annoying way).  In 24 hours someone texted me and said, "Do you want a place?"  Tomorrow I move.

The Speaking Heart

Fish and chips.  It sounded good.  It was expensive.  I ordered it.  I was content.  For about 3 seconds.

Enter friend who states she ordered Chinese.  Earlier I had thought to myself all I wanted was some meat and vegetables but I couldn't find any.  Now I had a plate full of fish and chips...well actually fish and salad.  I did try to get something to satiate my conscience.  But now I didn't didn't want that fish and chips.  I wanted Chinese!

It got worse.  I went with my fish and salad over to see the Chinese place.  An order would have been $4 less!  I could've kept $4 more dollars in my "restaurant budget" (yes, I'm in economic repentance in which I now use a budget).  A whole $4! I could about buy another meal for that!  Ok, maybe not here.  But somewhere!

This was a problem.  The fish and salad which looked good mere seconds ago was now despised.  I did eat it, but not with much pleasure.  I would have preferred the Chinese.  I wanted that meat and vegetables.

And there it was.  Discontent in all its ugliness.  Had I never heard or seen that there was Chinese food nearby, I would have taken great pleasure in the fish.  I might have even enjoyed it.  But discontent leaves an unpleasant taste in the mouth.  And all I saw now was a lot of grease on my plate and grease on my fingers and fat on my thighs and it all gives me something to complain about.  This is going downhill fast.  Where are the brakes?!

So where does this discontent come from?  When I have something to compare it to.  Comparison is at the root of discontent.  We are happy with what we have... until we see something more appealing.  Have a great spouse that you find pleasure in?  Meet someone who is attractive, godly, wonderful, kind, appreciative, respectful.  All of a sudden that spouse that was so wonderful now seems...less.   Even if the "other" isn't pursued.  And there are more things for comparison.   What about that job?  That ministry?  The house?  The car?   It all is something we can enjoy until we see someone in similar circumstances who has something a little better.  Comparison.  It is the death of our joy.

The remedy?  The speaking heart of gratitude.  The heart.  The place where we really think.  And the mouth that speaks, the agent that is a necessary for the thoughts of the heart to become reality.  Take a family I know.

They didn't like each other.  The husband didn't like the wife.  The wife didn't like the husband.  The kids didn't like each other.  They weren't too fond of their parents either.   It was a messy mess and with angry explosions they were about to face total collapse and become another statistic.  Another failure story.  Another...you get the picture.

Enter a husband who said enough.  Each and every single night for months the family sat down to say 2 words of gratitude and appreciation to each other.  Silence abounded.  It almost couldn't be done.  Not because of rebelliousness, but because there were so very few sincere thoughts to say.  The heart had heavy shades.  But relentless pursuit of righteousness began a slow sunrise.  The heart began to think and it was good.  The mouth began to speak and it was better.  And the heart heard what the mouth said and more thoughts came which was the best yet.  But most importantly life returned.  Light returned.  And joy returned.  (If you need three "L's" just add "light-heartedness returned.").  It was glorious and triumphant victory.  Ongoing victory.  Victory that does not end.  As Jesus says,

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light."

And there was light.

And it was the first day.

Confession is Good for the Soul

I have something to confess.  Last night I made a post asking to donate to a water project for my birthday.  I don't hesitate asking because I know how dire the need is.  And when I had my first person donate, it brought me to tears.  Still does.   But I have to confess something.  I gave way to fear. 

The reality is that I would like a goal of $5000 as that will fund the entire project.  But I gave way to fear and only put $1000.   I was too afraid no one would give and that the goal couldn't be met.  Furthermore I've struggled with this whole turning this particular number.  I don't know why.  Maybe it's because I'm so far from home, family and friends.  :(  I know it's not because I feel old or think this number is old.  I don't.  I really don't.  Although at times I had hoped/expected to be in a different place in life right now.  But at the same time I'm glad to be re-entering the waters of missions and am looking forward to what is ahead.  And my goodness, I'm in a tropical paradise!  So again, I don't know why it's bothering me but it is.  So the thought of going for $5000 is a risk to the heart.   And fear gave way.  So this morning I repented before the Lord and asked for permission for His grace.  I ask the same of you.

This week I heard the expression pertaining to Peter's walking on water that "I'd rather be a wet water walker than a dry boat talker."  That's exactly the way I feel.  So I'm going for it. If I don't get to the $5k, I'd rather say that I gave it a shot then played my heart safe.  But I need your help.  Will you email this link to 7 friends?  At this point I can't think of any other way.  Maybe through our connections we can together get this whole community in Africa clean water.   And I just love the thought that we get to see actual pictures of this project.  I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate 40 years of my life.

So here's the link:

http://mycharitywater.org/melissa-bs-40th

So there's my heart laid out raw before you.

Love to you guys

Birthday!

Hello friends!

I'm about to turn a year older this year (Sept 28th) and hopefully I'm a little wiser. I wanted to do something different this year as it is a special birthday and I'm a long ways away from friends and family.

This year, I'm giving up my birthday for charity: water. With 800 million people on this planet that still don't have access to clean drinking water and often die young, I'd like to change that for one community.  Every single penny goes to drill a well, and when the project is complete (typically within 18 months), they'll send us a digital completion report with GPS coordinates and photos of the community we helped. (Just FYI--Charity Water was started by a man who served 2 years on a YWAM Mercy Ship).

Instead of giving me presents this year, would you please donate whatever you are able for my birthday, and help me bring clean water to a whole town in need? The place that funds will go to will be in the Rulindo district of Rwanda.  Also, would you be so kind as to let others know I'm legit?  (I have gray hairs to prove it.  Yikes!)  I've got a goal of $1000 and I need help meeting that goal.

Please go to my campaign to donate: http://mycharitywater.org/melissa-bs-40th

Thank you for your support!

Melissa :)

Timing is Everything

When I was first asked to come to this ministry to do this project for a few months, my first reply was no.  I felt like my time there was done.  But the woman asking me asked me to pray again.  I took some time and prayed and again came back with a no answer.  Several months passed.  I received an email again asking me to reconsider.  This time as I was reading the email my heart did a 180 degree turn as I was reading this email.  I knew this only could have been from God.  And from a persistant woman praying for help!

But before I could totally answer in the affirmative I told her I had to check with my church leadership.  I had them pray.  I prayed.  I received a yes answer.  They received a no.  Hm.  What to do?  So a few months later I had them pray again.  I prayed again.  The woman on the other end waited for a firm commitment.  I received a stronger yes from the Lord.  My leadership received a stronger no from the Lord.    A third time I asked them to pray.  A third time I prayed.  I received an even stronger yes from the Lord.  They received a definitive no.  What to do?  Do you obey what you feel like the Lord is telling you to do and go against your leaders?  Or do you obey your leaders but go against what God is telling you?  What would you do?

Then about a week later it came to me out of the blue.  I bet it's a timing issue.  I bet that we are both hearing from the Lord correctly.  I approached my leadership and asked them to pray if it was timing.  We both prayed.  We both got a yes.  We both even got the same semester I was to staff.  It was a valuable lesson in hearing from the Lord in community.

I bought my plane ticket for a couple of months ahead of time to prepare for the school. As I prepared I had no peace again.  I was miserable.  I would stay up at night worrying about everything.  This went on for months.  I felt miserable leaving my job.  I felt no peace about anything.  It was terrible.  And then I wondered if it was timing.  I felt this was maybe the issue.  So I called up the airline company and changed my ticket to a month later but still enough time to prepare for the school.  Immediately after the peace came rushing back.  It was a timing issue.  For some reason I was to be there a month later than planned, no sooner.

Upon arrival I've wondered why.  Why this month and not last?  And this month and not next?  Perhaps this month verses the previous month is a little more clear.  Due to some work circumstances staying one more month financially allowed me to pay the remaining balance on my student loans, something I had prayed about before returning to full-time ministry.  But why not a month later?

Last night I think I got my answer.  I was at a financial seminar that was taught by a man of Issachar, one who "understands the times."  It was so very Scriptural, so very practical, and so potentially life-changing.  Had I come any later I might have missed it.  Had I come too near this I might have been so jet-lagged that I would've opted out.  And yet there I was receiving revelation from Scripture that is so Biblical yet I had never heard before.  Something that could alter my future and the future of my family.

And I have to fall to my knees and thank God.  Thankful that He is the Shepherd that is guiding us for our good.  He is the Shepherd that works with our human leaders for our good.   He is good.  And after the last few days, I am so very, very thankful.  Truly, HIS timing is everything.

On the Ship

When Jackie Pullinger felt the Lord call her, she didn't exactly know where to go or what to do.  She applied to several mission boards but they turned her down.  She was single, wasn't trained enough, etc.. etc...  Yet she still felt a strong calling to go.  But her largest problem was that she didn't know where to serve.

One day she consulted with a pastor.  When she confessed that the Lord laid it strong in her heart to step into missions but he hadn't given her the location, he advised her if God was telling her to go, she had better obey the Lord.  He instructed her to buy a ticket on a cargo ship that went the furthest distance away.  Every time that ship pulled into port, she should ask God is this is where she was to get off the ship.

Obedient to God's call, Jackie bought a ticket to China, the farthest place from England that the ships currently went.  Waving to her family was heartbreaking but she knew she was to obey the Lord's call.  With each stop at each port she would pray, but the Lord did not lead her to disembark.  Finally on the last stop in Hong Kong, the Lord said this was the place.  With very little money and through numerous miracles, Jackie Pullinger was able to enter the country and eventually start a ministry to drug addicts in the Walled City.  She continues her ministry to this day.  (Jacki Pullinger--Chasing the Dragon). 

Right now I feel a little bit of what Jackie Pullinger must have felt like on the ship.  I am currently in a beautiful place for ministry but I feel this is a bridge to something else, not the stopping off point.  I am just not sure what the stopping off point is yet.  For now I am on the ship and asking God about where to disembark.  In the meantime I have commitments here until the end of the year.  To not know what is after December is uncomfortable, but it does press me harder into the heart of God.  And in reality, that's a pretty good thing.

The view from "the Ship"

Found

A couple of people today wished me well today as I'm returning to missions and told me that they hoped I found what I was looking for.  For some reason it didn't resonate, but then the truth break in with great light and joy.  I'm not going because I'm looking for something.  I go because I already found what I was looking for.  Him.   Such joy!